You should have left you house five minutes ago; your daughters hair is a mess and your kids are obviously going to be late for school. Sound familiar? I have heard this story from many of my friends, have seen the results of this on many a head and have experienced it myself. However, for me, leaving the house with messy hair is unacceptable.
I recently dropped my daughter off at school and saw a child’s hair that was such a mess I wondered how the parents could let her walk out their door. This child truly had bedhead!!! Children learn from their parents and learning to take pride in yourself I believe is one of the most valuable lessons a parent can teach their child. It is hard chasing your little one around the room for five minutes and is sometimes easier to give up than to keep fighting. However, you don’t want to give up because you are shaping the future self image and respect your child has for themself and how others view them. Since everyone experiences this at one point or another, I thought I would share some of the tactics I have used to combat the battle.
When my daughter was very young she would fight me every time the brush came out. At 2 ½ I had enough and told her she could stay home alone if she did not let me do her hair. She ran away and I walked towards the garage and said “have a good day”. Needless to say I would never have actually left her but she did not know that and the tears started and she asked me to brush her hair. We went through that routine a few times and by the third time, after I had my son and dogs get in the car, she knew I meant business. Within a week of doing that she let me do her hair every morning.
Children want to feel like they have control over something. What better way to get what you want and let them get what they want then by letting them have a choice on the hair accessory they wear each day. Give your daughter the choice between two or three pieces to wear in her hair. If you let her help be in control of her appearance chances are she will be happy to participate, happy to make the decision and at the same time look pretty.
Certain things have to been done everyday but there is no reason it should not be fun. My daughter keeps me company in the morning while I do my hair and makeup. I let her “pretend” to put on makeup and get all done up for the day. She always asks if I could do her hair the way I did mine. Why not, what is a few extra minutes with the hair blower and a little hair product. These fun few minutes everyday makes her have an interest in her appearance, she takes pride in herself and we have fun at the same time.
It may be a fight that lasts only a few days or a month but you are the parent and you can and should win. Use creative tactics to get the result you want. Make getting dressed and brushing hair a fun, positive part of the day that will bring lasting lifetime value to your child.
Monday, March 16, 2009
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I thank you for your post. I remember when my oldest was young and we had a very good hair brushing routine. Until... 3 years ago when she was 8. She began doing her hair and letting me do it every so often. She did well until she let it grow for Locks of love. Oh the painstaking task of getting her knots out! I will never encourage any mother to allow their child to do this until they are old enough and responsible enough to get the tangles out themselves.
ReplyDeleteNow at age 11, my beautiful girl does her own hair. She puts it up in a pony tail and won't get all of the tangles out. She won't let me touch her hair anymore. ugh. I think today, we are getting her hair cut in a cute, short style that makes her realize how pretty she is and that modeling that you speak of (what I do she'll do) I need to be more obvious about it. If you have any ideas to help me help and encourage her, please let me know.
thanks!